Now that the 2017 football season is officially upon us, the majority of my content will be focused on the bears and possibly other NFL teams as well, like the Dallas Cowboys and all their fuck ups this past off-season, I’m looking right at you Ezekiel Elliot. I may be a little late to the party on this one but I do wanna go over what I saw this past Thursday, when the Denver Donkeys took on my Chicago Bums....
Man I have heard this shit show of a story for weeks now thanks to the dumb fucks over at ESPN and First Take consistently bringing up this story. I have had it with these motherfucking articles on the motherfucking Internet, because not only is it trending in the sports world still, but also on da bears bleacher report, which fucking sucks cause Jay Cuntler ain’t on the team anymore....
What is this title that you’re wondering? Well allow me to enlighten you toilet thinkers on what it means to love them chickens and on the side eggs. The old age question of whether or not the chicken or the egg came first is something that would be debated forever in the future, but not today. For today the myth and legends spoken of this question be dispelled and the truth shines upon your hopeless chicken selves....
It’s almost that time of year again fellow NFL fans (why yes, here at Crappy Thoughts we cover sports as well, #FuckJoeBuck) where we are close to the start of the regular season. We will get to witness a new class of rookies compete for starting jobs as well as try and make a name for themselves in the league. Or you can end up like Johnny Manziel, become an alcoholic, beat your girlfriend, and flame out in a 3 year career....
ROUND 3 MOTHAFUCKAS ROUND 3. DING DING DING. Man I said it once and I’ll say it again, I have had it with these motherfucking liberals in this motherfucking country. Christ I’m about to strike your ass out like if it’s a ball game. Now let me clarify and tell you all my stance because y’all have these titty attacks faster than radical terrorists screaming allahu akbar and blowing the fuck up....
NOBODY IS SAFE UP IN DIS BITCH YA SMELL ME! I mean goddamn, I thought I was done ranting about lunatic liberals and their radical ideas about white guilt, privilege, and the dumb fucks running and ruining the Black Lives Matter movement but NOOOOOO, here I am again to talk about a cancer that is sweeping the nation. Feminism. Like Jesus Christ, I even had to encounter one during one of my ethnic classes, which ended in her calling me a misogynist and walking away like a total cunt....
A 21 Savage Issa Album collaboration review featuring Dat Boi with a Rocket Launcher and Samuel L Windu. Hello my dear one eyed snakes and beloved hot pockets, today we will doing a brutally honest review of the new 21 Savage album that was released on July 7th, Issa Album. This is his debut studio album. All previous releases, such as Savage Mode and Slaughter King were mixtapes and collabs with other artists....
Nor does it make you special. Your gender is not a fashion statement. It is not something to flaunt in other peoples’ faces. Now that I’ve got your attention, hear me out. I need to rant about all the people out there that like to identify as something besides male or female. Please. Quit being such an asshole about it. I couldn’t give a rats ass whether you are a female, a eunuch, or a fucking apache helicopter....
Before I begin why such an anomylous word comparison happens, it is imperative that we first understand what a crêpe truly is. A crêpe or crepe (/kreɪp/ or /krɛp/, French: [kʁɛp], Quebec French: [kʁaɪ̯p]) is a type of very thin pastry, usually made from wheat flour (crêpes de froment) or buckwheat flour (galettes). Crêpes belong to the general category of ancient Greek Tiganitai, from Greek tiganos NIGGA WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE IS THIS?...
Twats and dicks, today we review the new 2017 Mummy. It stars handsome Tom Cruise: and the stunning Sofia Boutella: among others such as Russell Crowe and Annabelle Wallis. First, a little history… The Mummy came out in 1999 and starred Brendan Fraser as Rick O’Connell (the main character), Rachel Weisz (the main heroine), (insert other characters that aided Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz), and featured Arnold Vosloo as the main antagonist (the actual mummy that comes back to life)....