Transformers 5 - The last knight.
Holy shit there are 5 of these things. - Dat Boi with a Rocket Launcher
You would have thought that after the abomination known as Revenge of the Fallen, they would’ve stopped but NOPE. That ain’t how Hollywood works kiddes. The word of the day children is mula cause these movies easily top a billion dollars every single time they are released to the general audience.
Now I’ll be honest, I did enjoy the first and third one. Yes they were cheesy as hell and had some really awkward ass dialogue, but it was just awesome to see fan favorite Transformers like Optimus and Bumblebee completely wreck some Decepticon ass. But that’s the thing. All fives movies are the fucking same thing. The story always involves the Autobots and Decepticons looking for a shard, a staff, the Allspark, the pillars, dildos, Shia Labeouf’s career, etc. Like goddamn it feels as if Michael Bay just copy and pasted the same script over and over and just added a few extra EXPLOSIONS as well as plenty of ass and titty shots. For that last part, In all honesty, I ain’t complaining.
In the last 2 Transfomers films, we were introduced to a new squad of Autobots. I still don’t know their fucking names. There’s a Japanese one, a John Goodman one (who is a savage actor), and an Irish/Scottish one. You got Optimus Prime who has barely any screen time and just shows up last second spewing that and I quote “I am Optimus Prime”, and basically just bailed out these flying retards once again in the 5th installment of a franchise that all fans can’t fucking stand.
The fight scenes are confusing as fuck like what the hell is even going on I swear it feels like I’m experiencing a seizure. They have a good cast that features my dudes like Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Stanley Tucci, etc but they can only carry the movie so much and you really kinda don’t care about their characters even if they were to die. The Decepticons are weak as shit like they did MAH NIGGA SOUNDWAVE SOO DIRTY IN THE THIRD I WAS ABOUT TO MAKE A SCENE IN THE THEATRE. But I held my cool and just watched quietly. To put it in perspective, this wasn’t even a review of the fifth one, just my opinions on the franchise in general while lighting up the crapper.
To put it nicley……The 5th one is shit. Poorly edited, dumb humor, terrible effects and CGI, recycled plot leading up to the 6th one, OH BOY A 6TH FUCKING MOVIE, and stupid ass humans interfering and doing more bad than good.
In conclusion, save your money or illegally download it cause it just ain’t worth the time. Buy em here if you really need to, but be warned…THESE MOVIES ARE ROUGHLY AROUND 2 AND HALF HOURS. Like do you know how hard it is to stay awake through these things. Sit down bitch, be humble.
I leave you all with one simple message, there will be two more movies……
Fuck.
Stay curious my friends.