Before I go any further with this piece let me clarify, I am not a racist, misogynist, bigot, homophobe, or a white supremacist. I am all in favor for world peace. I am for equal rights, meaning that gay people, trans-gender people, and minorities like myself should have the same rights that everyone else does here in a ‘Murica. I agree with the base idea of Liberalism but the problem comes from the people enforcing it....
Twats and dicks, today we review the new 2017 Mummy. It stars handsome Tom Cruise: and the stunning Sofia Boutella: among others such as Russell Crowe and Annabelle Wallis. First, a little history… The Mummy came out in 1999 and starred Brendan Fraser as Rick O’Connell (the main character), Rachel Weisz (the main heroine), (insert other characters that aided Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz), and featured Arnold Vosloo as the main antagonist (the actual mummy that comes back to life)....
While ducks may like to get it on pretty wildly, I have not yet seen or read about a case where a male or female duck (yes, animals only have two genders, shocking right) has gotten an STD as a result. But apparently, a LOT of koalas in Australia seem to be infected with a strain of chlamydia that places them in a lot of pain and ultimately death. So what the fuck are these kinky marsupials doing on that island?...
Transformers 5 - The last knight. Holy shit there are 5 of these things. - Dat Boi with a Rocket Launcher You would have thought that after the abomination known as Revenge of the Fallen, they would’ve stopped but NOPE. That ain’t how Hollywood works kiddes. The word of the day children is mula cause these movies easily top a billion dollars every single time they are released to the general audience....
Hello fellow toilet thinkers, in today’s crap lesson, we’ll be crapping it out and learning that the antifreeze that you use for your car can be used as booze. Now you may be wondering, “Antifreeze as booze? Ridiculous!”. Well as it turns out, antifreeze, when it is drunk, will give you the feeling of being drunk, as well as ingesting poison in your body. And what happens when poison gets in the body?...
Why yes my good man/woman/alien chestburster, that is a good question. This blog is dedicated to teaching you, our valued reader, about possibly the most important things present on our beautiful earth! We love knowledge here at Crappy Thoughts. What makes us special and especially valid is that all of our posts are written while we’re sitting on the toilet!!! We believe that the human mind is at its most practical and inquisitive while taking a turd....
Ladies and Gentlemen, or snowflakes who don’t associate with these types of genders cause what da fuck do I know… Let’s be honest, we all like to fuck. - Dat Boi with a Rocket Launcher Whether you are one freaky deaky bitch or like it clean and respectful, we all like fucking. It’s an essential part of a relationship and the key to starting a familia. But have y’all ever thought to yourselves how do ducks do le deed?...
Today, in boating school, after making a run for the lavatory, I pulled out my phone and began to browse. My young eager mind, thinking about self-improvement while straining to push one out, suddenly remembered a small detail about the previous night. I had ordered me a large pepperoni pizza with the works from Pizza Hut and remembered seeing this small white plastic piece in the very center. It looks like this:...